How To Sleep Through the Night: 5 Proven Strategies from a Sleep Therapist
Waking up at 3 a.m. and staring at the ceiling is incredibly frustrating. You know you need sleep, but your mind is racing, and the more you try to force it, the more awake you feel. If this sounds familiar, you're in the right place.
I was recently interviewed for Authority magazine on this exact topic, and I want to share the advice here. These aren't quick "sleep hacks" that don't work; these are proven, evidence-based strategies that will help you retrain your brain for deep, consolidated sleep. Read on to learn exactly how to sleep through the night.
What to Do When You Wake Up in the Middle of the Night
Let's start with the most pressing question. You've woken up, and it's been more than a few minutes. What now?
Give it about 15-20 minutes. If you aren't falling back to sleep, get out of bed. The absolute worst thing you can do is lie there trying like bloody hell to fall asleep. This creates "sleep effort," which is 100% counterproductive. To fall asleep, you must disengage; to exert effort, you must engage. See the problem?
Go somewhere else in your home and do something enjoyable and distracting. Don't worry about whether it is "too stimulating"—that's just more sleep effort. Act like a person who doesn’t care about sleep. Do whatever you want and do not go back to bed until you feel sleepy (there is a difference between sleepy and tired).
This single act builds your body's natural "sleep drive." While it might not get you back to sleep that specific night, it is crucial for breaking the cycle of chronic night wakings. Sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war.
Your body has a sleep drive that determines how much and how well you sleep. You need enough sleep drive to fall asleep and stay asleep. Sleep drive is built by being out of bed and diminishes when you are in bed.
5 Proven Strategies to Help You Sleep Through the Night
The following 5 strategies are part of a powerful cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) intervention called Stimulus Control. The stimulus is your bed, and we want to control the response. Insomnia is a habit the brain has learned. These steps will help your brain unlearn it. This isn't an overnight fix, but you can expect to sleep better within 1-2 weeks.
1. Go to Bed Only When You Are Genuinely Sleepy
We need to talk about the difference between tired and sleepy.
Tired = Fatigued, low energy, cranky, but not necessarily able to fall asleep. People with insomnia often feel "tired but wired."
Sleepy = High likelihood of falling asleep. Your eyelids are heavy, your head is nodding, and you're losing concentration.
Going to bed simply because the clock says you "should" leads to anxiety when you can't fall asleep. Your goal is to become more aware of your body's internal cues for sleepiness and only go to bed when your body is truly ready.
2. Get Out of Bed When You Are Unable to Sleep
As mentioned above, this is critical. We are working to re-establish the connection between your bed and sleep. To do that, we must break the connection between your bed and wakefulness. Limit the time you spend awake in bed.
This might mean you have to get up more than once per night. That’s okay. You are sacrificing tonight for the greater good of many more restful nights to come. By doing this, you strengthen the mental association between getting into bed and falling asleep, which helps you feel more in control of the insomnia. For more on this, you can read my blog post about how less time in bed actually improves sleep.
Note: If there are safety or mobility risks associated with getting out of bed, an alternative is to sit up in bed and do something enjoyable until you feel sleepy again.
3. Maintain a Consistent Wake-Up Time Every Single Morning
This is non-negotiable. Get out of bed at the same time every day, irrespective of how you slept the night before. Yes, even on weekends. Aim for no more than an hour of discrepancy throughout the entire week.
Staying in bed later to "catch up" on lost sleep is counterproductive. It weakens your sleep drive for the following night and dysregulates your internal body clock (circadian rhythm). Think of it as giving yourself "social jet lag" without ever leaving home. A consistent wake time is the strongest anchor for your circadian rhythm.
If you wake up too early and can't get back to sleep, get out of bed, but don't "start your day" until your alarm goes off. Treat it like any other middle-of-the-night waking.
4. Use the Bed and Bedroom Only for Sleep and Sex
Your brain learns from association. If you work, eat, watch TV, or worry in your bed, your brain will associate your bedroom with wakeful, alert activities. We want to create a powerful association between your bed and sleepiness. Move all other activities to another room.
Reserving bed only for sleep in sex gives you a 1 in 2 chance of falling asleep. Doing all of those other activities lessens the odds to 1 in 8.
5. Refrain From Daytime Napping
Naps consume sleep drive. Think of your sleep drive like an appetite for sleep that builds all day long. A nap is like a snack that ruins your dinner—it reduces the "appetite" you need to sleep soundly through the night. If you suffer from insomnia, you likely can't afford this "early withdrawal."
If you absolutely must nap because you are sleepy (not just tired), follow these rules:
Keep it short (20-30 minutes).
Time it during your natural circadian dip (about 7-9 hours after you wake up).
Nap at a consistent time each day.
Common Questions About Sleeping Through the Night (FAQ)
How much sleep do I actually need?
The younger you are, the more sleep you need.
Most adults need between 7-9 hours, but your personal need is the amount that allows you to feel rested and function well during the day. Sleep quality is more important than quantity. A good measure is sleep efficiency, which should be 85% or higher. You can calculate it with this formula:
Sleep Efficiency=Minutes in Bed/Minutes Asleep×100%
Does alcohol before bed help with sleep?
No. Alcohol is hell on sleep. While it may make you feel drowsy and "crash out," it severely fragments sleep later in the night and suppresses restorative REM sleep. There is absolutely no benefit to sleep from alcohol.
What about exercise?
Aerobic exercise can deepen your sleep. However, exercise is best thought of as "sleep hygiene"—like brushing your teeth to prevent cavities. It's great for preventing sleep problems but usually won't fix a case of chronic insomnia on its own. The strategies above are the treatment; exercise is the preventative maintenance.
Does screen time before bed ruin sleep?
The impact of blue light from screens is often overstated for the average person. The real problem with screens is that they can keep you engaged and alert, delaying you from noticing your natural sleepiness cues. For people with insomnia, the bigger issue is trying too hard to sleep, not watching Netflix.
When should I seek professional help for insomnia?
If you have trouble sleeping at least 3 nights per week for 3 months, and it's causing you distress or impacting your daily functioning, you likely have clinical insomnia. It's unlikely to resolve on its own. The first-line treatment recommended by the American College of Physicians is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I), not medication. You can read more about coming off sleep medicine here.
The Biggest Obstacle to Sleeping Through the Night
The reason you’re not sleeping is likely due to two things:
You spend too much time in bed awake.
You are trying too hard to sleep.
Trying hard to sleep activates your body's emergency response system, which is designed to override sleep drive. The 5 strategies above are so effective because they directly target these two problems by strengthening your sleep drive and teaching you to get out of your own way.
Ready to finally sleep through the night? Learn more about how I work with insomnia or contact me to schedule a free phone consultation.